The Baby Blog

So, as most of you know if you’ve been following along I was out of work last week for my retrieval and transfer. The retrieval went well, but there was no transfer. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to work the next day (I wasn’t expected back until the following Monday anyway) because I was too bummed. Al went in, but just for a few hours. It was a beautiful fall day, and we decided to get our minds off things by exploring some of the beautiful sites in our town.

I packed my camera, and we started walking. We started out by having a wonderful lunch at a new cafe that just opened up. The name escapes me just now, but if you know the area it’s the old Kilbridge Antiques building. Then we walked over to Gibbet Hill and hiked up the trail to the castle, or what’s left of it. It’s mostly just a turret. The main house burned to the ground in 1932 as a result of “careless fireworks.” They keep cows there too (just for breeding I’m told, although Gibbet Hill Grill is right on the premises…just sayin’). So, between the cows and the castle there were a lot of photo opportunities!

We continued on the trail and overshot our street so I could take a picture or two at the cemetery. That’s not as morbid as it sounds. There’s some sort of building built into the ground near the entrance. I don’t think it’s a crypt, since there’s no name on it. Maybe it’s storage for the groundskeeper. Anyway, I’ve always thought it looked cool, and with the leaves all over and around it, I couldn’t resist getting a picture.

Here are a few of my favorite photos from that walk:

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First off, I want to thank everyone who commented on my last post.  One good thing that came out of the situation was learning about a lot of other ladies out there who went through a similar situation, or who are still going through it.  I’m sorry for not taking the time to thank each of you personally.  My emotions are still questionable right now.  Just when I think I’m feeling fine, I start to get all weepy again…like today, when I realized I had to tell my boss it didn’t work, and I’d be going through all this again.  More FMLA please!  But if you shared your blog URL in your comment, you can bet you have at least one new reader out there!  Thanks especially to Murgdan for this toughtful post on her blog.  Murgdan, you are the best!  MUAH!

Secondly, I just have a quick update on #2.  Well, I should say round #2, but just calling it #2 makes me feel better.  As in oh poop, I have to do THIS again.

My cycle started yesterday, so I’ll be on BCP for suppression again starting tomorrow, and I’ll keep taking that through November 7th.  I’ll also be trying something new this time around.  Starting on November 1st, I’ll begin shots of Lupron.  Yup, that means I start shots even before I stop the pill.  Because I really think that was the problem last time.  Not enough shots.  Let’s add more.  Okay, sarcasm over…hehe.  Lupron basically shuts down a woman’s hormone system, moreso than the pill alone.  As I mentioned in my last post, it may or may not make much difference…but what the heck!  I’m already sticking myself.  May as well throw that one in too!  Oops!  Sorry.  I got sarcastic again.  Heh.

My first round of blood work and ultrasound will be on November 11th.  Oooh…I just realized that’s Veteran’s Day.  I’m a veteran needle user now!  Go me!  (Sorry if I just offended any actual veterans.  Thank you for fighting for our country.  I love you.  MUAH!)

So that’s about it.  I should be getting a new shipment of meds soon.  Don’t worry, I won’t photograph them again!

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There might be a couple of letters missing at the beginning of this post’s title.  Since my last post I’ve learned that they were able to biopsy 5 of the 7 embryos.  That’s OK, I was happy with 5.  I was still confident about today’s transfer…until I got the call at 11:00 this morning.

Basically, 4 of the 5 embryos stopped developing.  The 5th one made it to the blastocyst stage but was missing the inner cell mass (which is what becomes the fetus), so it was still not viable. The PGD results (not that they matter at this point) were very typical. One normal, one with CF, one carrier, and one that was either normal or a carrier (the weren’t able to test both genes on that one). The one that was missing the inner cell mass they couldn’t get a signal from - another indication something was up with that one.

The doctor is confident that it was just bad luck, and it doesn’t mean the same thing would happen if we were to try again. We can start trying again almost right away. I have to wait for my period to start, then go on BCP for 2 or 3 weeks again. Then I’d start the injectables. He might have me use Lupron instead of Ganirelix next time. It may or may not make a difference, but it doesn’t hurt to try another method since we had no luck with this one.

I had a good cry this morning, and sometimes you just need a good cry.  I felt better after getting more of an explanation from the doctor.  (My first call was just the nurse telling me they stopped developing and she’s really sorry.)  I went shopping after, because some days there’s nothing like retail therapy!  I feel ready to start this process over…hopefully with happier results.

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I’m in shock.  I found out today that we have 7 embryos!  I know this is what’s supposed to happen, but it just hit me when I heard that.  Seven little miracles.  Now I know Al and I can make a baby.  Since the RE never discovered a reason why we couldn’t get pregnant on our own, I have to say I was worried.  Wow!  Seven.

We’ll find out tomorrow how many they were able to biopsy.

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